Archive for August, 2009

Why I Am Glad to NOT Be Nancy Grace’s Husband.

August 25, 2009

she’s a bitch. really i bet she wears the pants in that household. so here Nancy, since you’re a femnisist proscutor and the Daughter of the Devil i’ll give you a list of reasons why you should not be allowed to have a show.

1. You’re a woman. women of your style do not need to be allowed on tv, we all know women are inferior to men. in fact the only reason we let them on tv is cause their husband is getting any ass at home so he has to let her do her thing, which he could do better with his eyes closed and jackin’ it at the same time. men are much much smarter, either the reason you got your tv show was your husband wanted some ass so he allowed you to go on tv. but this could also mean you tried to bite his dick straight off with your fangs and demanded a show. i gotta send out sympathy to your husband, i wouldn’t let my huge balls near that womans mouth. but i bet your ass i could knock that bitch out cold with one swing from these giant balls. her husband would thank me, hell yeah.

2. You suck as a TV Personality/Prosecutor. my question to you Nancy is how the hell aren’t you a lesbian? only prosecutors’ are lesbians, but they’re always extremely hot and in the middle of trying to take the other prosecutor down they get turned on rip their shirts off and start making out. then the judge whips out his dick and says, “you’re girls are both guilty…of not playing with balls.” then it explodes into one bad porno. but instead of making me start jackin’ it i realize that i just want to knock everyone one of those skanks out cold with my massive balls. shit those things could break bones, hell yeah! actually, that whole image i painted would be more tolerable than watching her show, and porno is pointless and boring and a waste of my time if you ask me. if i watch something i want it to have substance, not tits ass and balls. not my idea of a good time, just like playing the back 9 with Woopie Goldberg.

nancy-grace-773743

no one gives a shit about your gay youtube video posts.

August 8, 2009

i love how everyone posts a video on youtube and BAM them mother fuckers have a life. there are kids, no scratch that, adults who haven’t gotten laid in years who make video blogs about their life. news flash, i don’t think everyone is concerned about your life. youtube should invent fists and install them into every computer screen and when the dipshits start to video blog about themselves that fist should pop and make their teeth like your grandma when she gives blow jobs for 45 cents. the worst part about the internet is that every one now thinks the world cares about, or rather will care about them. it’s a lonely kids dream to bone the vag of the internet. and it’s kids like that who get their asses molested by some over weight bald guy who looks a lot like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which if doesn’t make jizz your pants there’s obviously a problem with you. seeing that show with no boner at all means you’re probley totally gay. why don’t you just bend over and take while you watch the show since you aren’t into it that much asshole.

tvad-enzyte-smilingbob

if you aren’t like this guy then fuck you.

women who watch the View are bitches.

August 5, 2009

every time i see that show i am reminded why i hate the fact that we gave women rights. personally i think the women on that show were put on there so their husbands wouldn’t have to deal with their wife bitching all day and it’d save the police a domestic disturbance call. the only time i see it on is when i have to wait on some asshole doctor who’s probley back in his office doing a line of cocaine off his own boner cause he takes so much of my money that he’s got nothing better to do with it. the only time i have tolerated that show is when i’m so hopped up on drugs to numb me from watching these women bitch about issues that they like to think pertains to them. psh, women having importance in society. that’s just an urban legend. i will say this about this show:

elisabeth-hasselbeck-elmo

this woman, Elizabeth something, fuck it i’m too lazy to figure out her last name. anyways she is the only redeeming factor of that show and i’ll tell you why, total babe fest. you could be a Trekkie and she’d get you off. thats what the view should be, a show where she just walks around in a Bikini making Sandwiches and then getting someone a beer. but when it comes to women like this:

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,behar08

talk about the Twins lookin’ old. but in all seriousness The View is the sole reason why we should repeal women’s rights. it hasn’t done us much good. if you need one example why we should repeal Female Rights look at these two examples. 1. Feminism. 2. Butch Lesbians. which both go hand in hand and are the same thing basically. this new bill of Womans rights will go as follows.

1. Never are you to back talk to a man.

2. Never are you to operate a car, except unless your husband/boyfriend/friend are so drunk from watching the game you must drive them home.

3. Never are you to ever make a steak or burger or any grilling of any kind.

4. Never are you start up a BBQ.

5. Never are you to tell your male partner to make his own damn sandwich or grab his own damn beer.

6. You are never to hold out on a man for this is detestable.