some fashion advice i’ll pull right out my ass.

i don’t know dick about fashion but i sure i know how gay it is now days. today i went to some upscale mall to look at some stores but only one store was at the mall that i could semi-stand, and NOT because i loved the store, they just had some shitty flannel shirts that i liked and they were cheap and shitty. it was the only store there i didn’t have to cut off my balls and pay them with that. first off heres my complaint, some bitches walked up behind me and asked to go around cause i wasn’t going fast enough for them. SALES CAN FUCKING WAIT. i should have bitch slapped her and said to learn her place. you know the type i am talking about, the bitches with the real stuck up nose think their better than you probley text all day about how they get off to fashion papers and that some dude in front of them is wearing shorts and fucking no name blandness and blah t-shirt. i think my balls have bigger brains than both of you combined. anyways it sparked my idea that i can give you dickheads some fashion advice, from a real man who doesn’t give a shit-tit about fashion.

1.) these scarves make you look like a pretentious dipshit who probley jerks guys off so they’ll buy them beer.

Picture 1

then i went a step further. on amazon i looked at other things these dick chokers would buy on amazon and it’s pretty shocking how pussified this next item is.

2. YOU DON’T HAVE TITS SO YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW OFF ASSWIPE.

Picture 2

i bet you’ve seen these assholes. theres a whole group of them in v-neck t-shirts, all of them went to starbucks and bought coffee and are now playing ass grab downtown and talking about how cool they are and all this talk about themselves just gave them a raging boner that needs to be jerked off now. every time i see a group of these dickheads i just wanna slap their coffee out of their hands and drop a big shit right into their face. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU CAUSE OF YOUR CLOTHES ASSHOLE!! they also think you have to be politically correct and probley take girls out and bang them in their hybrid car cause their banging this time is environmentally friendly. asshole.

3. have you seen my tits lately?

Picture 5

this makes you look like a fucking surfboard. is this for pregnant women? why the hell are women wearing clothes that look like they were made for a girl who just got knocked up? you know what i miss? remember those bras that made women look like they had parking cone boobs growing out’ve their chest? they should bring those back since assholes are making pregnant teen clothes for all our women.

419931_f520

slap this on and give that surfboard some form!

4. Rest In Peace My Boner.

Picture 4

you have giant man tits growing out your back. and what the fuck, why are we calling this thing a tunic? get educated asshole that’s not a tunic.

luke

now that’s a fucking tunic and some kick ass clothes right there.

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